Painful Memories


On a moonless night, the stars don’t shine. They hide ‘neath pillows of grey. The sky, as black as my heart, speaks not a word. The chilled breeze drifts past me, adding to the sense of my loneliness.

As the moon peeks from the clouds, I feel as if it’s mocking me. Taunting me. Glowing and sparkling around my jaded self like a shattered prism. Still the ebony sky speaks nothing. My soul is cold, weak.

Once more the haughty moon hides from mine eyes. I can feel the cold air wash past me, sending memories shivering down my spine. My heart aches and tears fall, but my cries go unheard.

Silence is my voice
Black is my soul

I feel as if I’m fading away.
Into a pool of the forgotten.
Drowning in memories that haunt.

My mind replays each painful thing like an unending movie. My life is subtitled with shame and guilt. There are no extras. No deleted scenes. No alternate ending.

But, my story is not finished. Much like the bright moons glare. I look to the heavens above for answers and all I receive are those horrid memories. All I can see are the scars left behind.

A road map to hell.

Can I survive this?
Am I strong enough?

Or, like angels before me, have I fallen for eternity?


(Copyright Ace of Spades 1995-2013
Nevermore Creations 2017)
Written August 19th 2013

“As a writer, I’ve found an outlet for the pains I’ve felt. A way to express things I cannot verbalize. Being a mom, writer, and survivor, I just take it a day at a time.” – Channing W. Milburn

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